I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize