I wish I could teleport
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
foreskin is a definite game changer
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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