hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
