btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
