i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
