'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
