i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She's the barista slut.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
