"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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