he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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