margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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