i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize