Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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