Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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