he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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