so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
