I can't breathe out the right side of my face
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Randomize
