he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
