And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
