When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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