I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
