Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
