you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
