just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize