I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
