And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
