No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
