oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
