remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize