I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
