My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
They are going to name an STD after you.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize