Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
