Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
