Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
