i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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