Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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