Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
