No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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