matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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