Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Two words: blizzard sex
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
