she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Im part way to drunk.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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