I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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