dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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