ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i think i have herpe
just one?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Did I show you my penis last night?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
