Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize