it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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