Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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