His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
