You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
