But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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