She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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