I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
