Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
accomplished twins. life is a go
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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