maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
