Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Houston, we have a blender
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
