I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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