he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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