i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
