Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
